My husband had just wrapped up a Bible lesson on the Ark of the Covenant from 1 Samuel 4-6, complete with Indiana Jones references and a good discussion about the things we put our faith in that become idols, rather than trusting in God. Our group discussed the struggle of treating God like a talisman or genie in a bottle when we need something. As I sat in the back of the room distracting a baby so his mom and dad could have a break and focus on discussion, I pondered the ways I’ve inadvertently tried to manipulate God into action.

Our time ended and we headed to the worship service. The congregation began to sing, and I stared at the words on the screen, while pictures of people for which I am burdened flashed through my mind—friends on the brink of divorce, friends facing cancer, a friend with a very ill child, families in my community grieving the loss of their children—And I thought to myself, “I really need to fast and pray. I really need God to move.” As quickly as I had those thoughts, another thought interrupted me: “Like a genie in a bottle?” Oh, no! That’s not my intention. I am just desperate for God to hear my prayers and move into action. And my thoughts were interrupted again, “As if God doesn’t hear your prayers when you don’t fast? As if you aren’t desperately in need all the other times?” Not what I meant! I just really want to show God how utterly dependent I am on Him in these situations. Interrupted again with, “So you aren’t dependent on God in other situations where you just pray? Is it time to call in the ‘fasting reinforcements’?” My theological thoughts were amiss and immediately being countered by thoughts revealing, in reality, how I often treat God like a talisman.

I stood there mentally working out my theology surrounded by worshippers singing praise to God. Why do I fast? It can’t be to manipulate God, even for a selfless reason. I fast to acknowledge a faith in God that is bigger than my friends’ circumstances, bigger than the “here and now”, to acknowledge surrender and trust regardless of him answering my prayers in my way and in my timing. My questioning thoughts turned to prayers, “But God, how do I move you to action?”

And as though God infiltrated my thoughts, and responded to my prayerful question, he seemed to boom back at me, “You. Don’t. Move. Me. I move you.”

Those words ricocheted off my mind and embedded in my soul.

Cue the most composed ugly cry I could manage in a public place.

I was stunned and ashamed by how I was viewing God. Who was I to tell God he needed to start moving in these situations, as though He wasn’t on the move? I was embarrassed and humbled. I felt like the Psalmist in Psalm 139, “Where can I flee from your presence?” then moments later pleads, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” I wanted to hide from God. And yet, I wanted to hide in God’s arms.

I spent the next couple of weeks reflecting on these thoughts and various scriptures. I don’t move God. God moves me. If I’m honest, some of my favorite scriptures are the ones that go something like, “Be still and know that I am God,” and “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.” I am ok with being still and God moving, but when it comes to me moving, I’m not ok. I get a sinking feeling in my stomach when I read Bible verses about people moving away from safe and comfortable towards obedience—Noah having to endure ridicule as he built a massive boat; Abraham leaving his extended family for a new land; Paul rejecting his position and pedigree to follow Jesus Christ.

In my insecurity and faithlessness, I was trying to take control and gives orders to my great and good God. The problem was not with God. The problem was with me. The problem was not with God’s perspective on these situations. The problem was my lack of perspective. The problem was not God’s inaction. The problem was my inaction.

I do not move God. God moves me—a gentle reminder that I am not God. 

Scriptures that shaped my thoughts on this topic:

1 Lord, you have searched me and known me.
2 You know when I sit down and when I stand up;
you understand my thoughts from far away.
3 You observe my travels and my rest;
you are aware of all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue,
you know all about it, Lord.
5 You have encircled me;
you have placed your hand on me.
6 This wondrous knowledge is beyond me.
It is lofty; I am unable to reach it.

7 Where can I go to escape your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there.
9 If I live at the eastern horizon
or settle at the western limits,
10 even there your hand will lead me;
your right hand will hold on to me.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me,
and the light around me will be night”—
12 even the darkness is not dark to you.
The night shines like the day;
darkness and light are alike to you.

13 For it was you who created my inward parts;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I will praise you
because I have been remarkably and wondrously made.,
Your works are wondrous,
and I know this very well.
15 My bones were not hidden from you
when I was made in secret,
when I was formed in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw me when I was formless;
all my days were written in your book and planned
before a single one of them began.

17 God, how precious your thoughts are to me;
how vast their sum is!
18 If I counted them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand;
when I wake up, I am still with you.
19 God, if only you would kill the wicked—
you bloodthirsty men, stay away from me—
20 who invoke you deceitfully.
Your enemies swear by you falsely.
21 Lord, don’t I hate those who hate you,
and detest those who rebel against you?
22 I hate them with extreme hatred;
I consider them my enemies.
23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my concerns.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me;
lead me in the everlasting way.
(Psalm 139)

10 See, the Lord God comes with strength,
and his power establishes his rule.
His wages are with him,
and his reward accompanies him.
11 He protects his flock like a shepherd;
he gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them in the fold of his garment.
He gently leads those that are nursing.
12 Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand
or marked off the heavens with the span of his hand?
Who has gathered the dust of the earth in a measure
or weighed the mountains on a balance
and the hills on the scales?
13 Who has directed the Spirit of the Lord,
or who gave him counsel?
14 Who did he consult?
Who gave him understanding
and taught him the paths of justice?
Who taught him knowledge
and showed him the way of understanding?
15 Look, the nations are like a drop in a bucket;
they are considered as a speck of dust on the scales;
he lifts up the islands like fine dust.
16 Lebanon’s cedars are not enough for fuel,
or its animals enough for a burnt offering.
17 All the nations are as nothing before him;
they are considered by him
as empty nothingness.
18 With whom will you compare God?
What likeness will you set up for comparison with him?
19 An idol?—something that a smelter casts
and a metalworker plates with gold
and makes silver chains for?
20 A poor person contributes wood for a pedestal
that will not rot.
He looks for a skilled craftsman
to set up an idol that will not fall over.
21 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
Has it not been declared to you
from the beginning?
Have you not considered
the foundations of the earth?
22 God is enthroned above the circle of the earth;
its inhabitants are like grasshoppers.
He stretches out the heavens like thin cloth
and spreads them out like a tent to live in.
23 He reduces princes to nothing
and makes judges of the earth like a wasteland.
24 They are barely planted, barely sown,
their stem hardly takes root in the ground
when he blows on them and they wither,
and a whirlwind carries them away like stubble.
25 “To whom will you compare me,
or who is my equal?” asks the Holy One.
26 Look up and see!
Who created these?
He brings out the stars by number;
he calls all of them by name.
Because of his great power and strength,
not one of them is missing.
27 Jacob, why do you say,
and, Israel, why do you assert:
“My way is hidden from the Lord,
and my claim is ignored by my God”?
28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the whole earth.
He never becomes faint or weary;
there is no limit to his understanding.
29 He gives strength to the faint
and strengthens the powerless.
30 Youths may become faint and weary,
and young men stumble and fall,
31 but those who trust in the Lord
will renew their strength;
they will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not become weary,
they will walk and not faint.
(Isaiah 40)

1 Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every hindrance and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us, 2 keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith. For the joy that lay before him, he endured the cross, despising the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
(Hebrews 12:1-2)

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead 4 and into an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you. 5 You are being guarded by God’s power through faith for a salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 You rejoice in this, even though now for a short time, if necessary, you suffer grief in various trials 7 so that the proven character of your faith—more valuable than gold which, though perishable, is refined by fire—may result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; though not seeing him now, you believe in him, and you rejoice with inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 because you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

13 Therefore, with your minds ready for action, be sober-minded and set your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. 14 As obedient children, do not be conformed to the desires of your former ignorance. 15 But as the one who called you is holy, you also are to be holy in all your conduct; 16 for it is written, Be holy, because I am holy.
(1 Peter 1:1-9, 13-16)